J. Lee Austin, MD
So Let the Games Begin!
My oh my, how time do fly. Seems like only yesterday since our last Crab Fest. Yet here we are again at the most highly entertaining, deliciously fun, premier charitable fundraising event of the year, lovingly held on Mother’s Day weekend. While there’s all the fabulous food, a happy background of live music, and dozens of interesting vendors with myriad arts and crafts, my personal favorite part is the hysterical Running of the Wiener Dogs.
The human fascination with animals racing each other apparently knows no bounds. You name it, we’ve raced it … from snails to cockroaches, from cane toads to ostriches, it’s all fair game on race day. Our quirky obsession is sure to reach fever pitch when the Fortieth Annual Texas Crab Fest serves up the 20 year iteration of the iconic canine contest:
Texas Crab Festival’s Wiener Dog Races-Enter Your Sausage Speedster Today
With short legged dogs that are surprisingly fast (up to 20 mph), each race lasts only a few seconds, but the joy that ensues is enduring. Designed for purebred weenies only, its popularity has really increased in recent years since race time was changed from Friday night to Saturday morning. Last year I was a bit late and had to wriggle and peek through the throng of giddy spectators to get fleeting glimpses of the action … so get there early!
J. Lee is a contributor to Crystal Beach Local News, and is the founder of The Good Help Network, a reader-supported publication.
Dog racing is nothing new of course, with the Speedy Sausage version first catching on in the 1970’s, way down under in Australia. A few years later in 1993 the sport’s adoration in North America exploded following a Miller Lite TV commercial with the tag line “If you can combine great taste with less filling, you can combine anything.”
Sure enough, the beer ad combined drag racing with dog shows to get … Dachshund Racing! Even more oddly, it paired other absurdly incongruous sports to come up with Sumo Wrestler High Diving, Luge Bowling and a Rodeo Lawyer Round-up. I don’t know if the ads actually sold more beer, but I for one, would pay good money to see any one of those Combo-sports … especially a herd of loathsome lawyers getting roped, ridden and hog-tied. But I digress.
As for other animals in competition, thoroughbred horses are probably the most mesmerizing. I guess that’s why that’s where the big money is. Even non-gambling, non-equestrians like this writer cannot help but marvel at the sleek, rippling beauty of so much raw power unleashed all at once in a breathtaking spectacle of sorts.
It’s like the opposite of crab racing … at our annual Running of the Crabs you can expect to see surly, claw-snapping crustaceans placed carefully with long tongs onto steep ramps, while jubilant children squirt with water guns to urge the spiny contestants to race/slide to the trough at the bottom, their briny finish line.
The Kentucky Derby it ain’t. Instead of elegant femmes wearing wide hats and fancy fascinators while sipping mint juleps, we have slurping of cold brewskis and lovable parents cheering boisterously for kids and crabs alike. A word of caution … the snappy crabbies can inflict quite the bite with their powerful claws, so be sure to keep clear of those. No worries though, there’s plenty of expert staff to keep it all going safely.
Speaking of experts, Tom and Dennis, the infamous “Crew of Two” who have been the heart and soul of this amazing event for well over a decade are at it again, working overtime to assure the success of this year’s extravaganza. We can never thank them enough, but be sure to try. And with so many generous sponsors, a warm, friendly supporting cast of local volunteers and the promise of good weather, this year’s shindig may be the best ever.
To volunteer, buy tickets or get the details, go to: https://texascrabfestival.org
See y’all there! ~~ j ~~
“The trees in Siberia are miles apart. That’s why the dogs are so fast.” ~~ Bob Hope
